When people consider personal development, self-help, growth, transformation, one of the problems that they have – and it’s not taught by very many teachers – is a very simple notion. If you believe that there is an obstacle or a challenge, or something that’s holding you back, and you’re reading books and going to seminars, and buying audio books, hoping that you’re going to solve the problem; whatever author or whatever teacher that you are absorbing, most of them tend to be very good, most of them tend to have value. But what they don’t teach you is a very interesting phenomena when you focus on and begin to create a breakthrough to the solution, a breakthrough to another side, to another place, to another plateau, when you actually succeed and get what you want.
And it is this: do you believe, do you think that it works this way, that when you get your breakthrough, the problem that’s been plaguing you, the obstacle that’s been hovering days, years, decades; and you’ve now gone to a seminar or you’ve heard information that’s going to help you break through and boom! You break through, there it is! “I’m coming out of this seminar, I’m walking ten feet tall! I’m feeling fantastic!”
Do you believe that when you go back into your life with your breakthrough achieved, do you believe that the fear and anxiety in that new life that you have is going to go up or down? Yeah, most people say “Well duh, of course it’s going to go down because I had fear and anxiety around this obstacle. I have challenge and pain around this obstacle, and so when I obliterate it, voila! The pain that goes away will produce less fear and less anxiety.”
The truth is, as the Greatest Version of You(GVOY)… fear and anxiety and uncertainty shoot off the charts! And normally, most people not only struggle with this, when it is explained intellectually, they get it INTELLECTUALLY… but the gamut of emotions are enormous… and fickle… and challenging… considering that all of your previous strategies, whether the old you or the new you, as you have evolved over time… those strategies were designed to lower fear, anxiety, and negative emotional stresses.
And for you to be the GVOY… you must/ must/ MUST understand and FEEL… this enormity! The GVOY, as you design you, live that version of you, failure is going up, fear is going up, its palpable… it is counterintuitive, and it is amazing to actually experience that person… but you MUST go to the emotional scales that it will take to perform at that level in order to discover it… integrate it… own it… and ultimately, live it to the point that it becomes you … in both normal times, and CRISIS times! Does that make sense?
I want you to think about this, and it’s counterintuitive. You’ve been climbing a mountain. If you perceive life to be a mountain you’ve been climbing, you’re stuck, or you have been stuck. And whether you’re stuck for a month, a year, a decade, it doesn’t matter – you’ve been stuck here. This thing, this obstacle has been holding you back. You’ve obliterated it, you’ve destroyed it, you’ve annihilated it, you’re excited and you begin to climb again. You’re now climbing in a part of the mountain you’ve never been. You’re now climbing in a place that you’ve never seen. You’re now expected to think new thoughts, create new actions, have new emotions in a totally foreign, harder, more elevated place.
Feel deeply into this truth. Breath deeply into this truth. What do you really think your fear – is going to go up or down? Don’t you think, don’t you know, that that fear and anxiety is going to be vibrating off the charts for you? Because you’ve never thought like this, you’ve never been so purely in this place before. I can’t emphasize this enough!
You are going to be scared to death of this new place. Now the good news is, once you decide, and commit to, and begin to integrate this truth, every day the fear goes down a little bit more, because you’re going to get more used to it, and you’re going to develop the fluency and the skills, and the thoughts and the emotions, and the feelings that you will become your stock in trade here. But your first day, your first week, that when you go into that room, that new room in your life – that new banquet hall where the kings and queens live, and reside, that you’ve never been to before – your fear is actually going to go up.
The difference is, that when you’re stuck on an obstacle, and now it’s gone, and you’re healed and you’re strong, and you’re powerful – when you leave that seminar or you leave that book saying “Wow, that’s great information, I’m going to apply it now,” most people intuitively, instinctively the next day, the next week, begin to go “Wow, this isn’t working because my fear is higher.” But it’s a righteous fear, it’s a half full fear attached to a new place. You should be afraid.
And so what you really need to understand is, it’s not about eliminating fears. It’s not about becoming fearless. It’s not about “I don’t want to be scared anymore.” In fact, what it’s about, is fear management… as the GVOY! You need to have incredible fear management skills, because as you become the greatest version of you, as you focus on this inevitable future, as you pick this greatest future, this vision, this drive, that’s in a new place, and in an elevated place, and the challenges are bigger, the problems are bigger, the villains are bigger and you’re bigger – in fact, your fear is going to be rising.
Many people will go “Well wait a second. I think I screwed this up because my fears should go down,” and they turn around and they go back into the old room. They turn around, they climb back down the slope to the place that they know, record that they were the problem, they really didn’t get the seminar, they should have gotten it; they know the book was good, they know the content, they believe this “all humans have unlimited potential,” but the old belief that says “except for me” is alive and well because it’s based on fear. They don’t distinguish that this is now righteous fear.
Have I drilled this point in your head? Good, because for many of you, it is the single biggest reason that you have tried and tried and tried… and still been stuck.