Many people are actually unconsciously working against themselves. If you say you want to make a change, is that really what you want at your core? Does the obese person want to be thin? Does the depressed person really want to be happy? Does the angry person really want to be calm?
On a conscious level, of course you want to change. However, there is also a deeper, more insidious truth working against you. I call it “The Rogue Program” or “The Villain Program.”
Here’s how it works
Let’s say you really want to lose weight, you hate your body, and you’ve been working to lose weight for years. Although you have been working hard to change by exerting energy focusing on the fat you want to lose, you are actually creating a program in your brain that will trigger you to gain even more weight.
I know this is counter-intuitive, but if you change your thinking from “I hate fat; I don’t want to be fat,” to “I love thin; I want to be thin and powerful,” you will drastically improve your end results.
Allow me to go even deeper… If you’ve been trying to lose weight for a long time, you probably have a story about why you haven’t had any success. If this is true for you, I’m going to argue that at a deeper level, you don’t really want to be thin, and here’s why.
I know that nobody wakes up in the morning and says, “Hey, I’ve got a great plan for myself! I’m going to eat 15 Twinkies and put on two more pounds today. That’s a path of happiness for me.”
Instead, most people who want to lose weight get up, look at themselves in the mirror, feel disgusted with their weight and with their body. They literally hate themselves for what they have become. Unfortunately, this type of emotion and energy creates a lot of deep, unconscious programming, and it’s not worth the long-term damage (not to mention personal suffering). Self-loathing won’t actually do anything to help the situation. You have to look deeper to understand what’s at the root cause.
Here’s what really happens
First, your friend tells you about a new diet. Your friend tells you he or she has lost weight using this new program, and you say, “Wow! I think I’ll try that.” So, you get online, you do some research, go the grocery store, and buy some new food. Within a few weeks, it works! You start losing weight, and people start to notice. However, once people start recognizing the change in you, a very curious thing happens…
You’re looking so great that your belief system starts to kick in, and suddenly there are no more excuses for the other parts of your life that aren’t up to par. Your beliefs tell you, “Time to be amazing. Update your résumé. Dump that relationship. You need to start making some changes to live up to this new persona.”
But then, your ego chimes in and tells you, “Wait a second. I know you—you’re not amazing. You’re still not good enough. You still don’t deserve all these things. This “new you” is an illusion. You’re about to destroy yourself!”
Now, the ego isn’t trying to sabotage you, it’s telling you these things out of love (albeit a mistaken love). It just wants to protect you from any potential future pain.
However, regardless of its intentions, once the ego chimes in, its damage is done. In that space, in that moment when your unconscious battles with your ego, if you let your guard down—that’s when you give into the cravings around you. You tell yourself, “Who could follow that diet anyway? This diet doesn’t work for me,” and consequently you’ll then proceed to indulge in an entire tub of ice cream!
Do you see the truth in this situation? Can you see how the true fear has nothing to do with weight?
There is more pain associated with what being thin really means you’ll have to become. That hidden seed is the rogue, the villain, and it’s why you really don’t want to be thin… yet.
By the way, I’m using weight as a metaphor to explain this hidden program, however, it applies to all aspects of life.
For the depressed person, your rogue program will tell you that the consequences attached to being happy are potentially more painful than being depressed and upset.
For the angry person, your rogue program will tell you that anger is jet fuel for motivation and energy.
Whatever it is you may want that seems to be out of your reach, you just have to find the hidden program stopping you (although you may have to dig to get there).