Do you ever wonder why there are so many divorces and separations, or why so many couples are unhappy? The following list gives you the main reasons…
1. Your psychology is built around avoiding failure and as a consequence, if you don’t get a divorce, you are successful. You are not focused on creating greatness in your relationship and using “failure” to your advantage by learning from them.
2. You don’t believe that YOU are magical; “after the honeymoon” you certainly don’t believe that your spouse is magical… so how can the marriage be magical? You have to believe in yourself and your abilities first, and continue to find ways to experience the passion you felt when you first got married.
3. You have never really seen magic up close and personal, therefore, you aren’t even sure what it would mean to you, value, or how to do it. If your parent’s marriage wasn’t magical, then you didn’t grow up seeing and understanding what that means.
4. There is no real plan to create one (no details, no follow through, no nothing…). The top 10% of the population, when you look at success in any area of life, write their goals down. There are even studies that show couples who schedule time to have sex are more successful!
5. You do not gather the references or resources that you will need to succeed at that level or to assist in the process. You cannot go at this alone, you need to learn from successful couples, or resources that know what creates them, to point you in the right direction.
6. While you may intellectually think you SHOULD try making your marriage magical (once you hear it, anyway,) you are not emotionally attached to it, and/or, you are MORE emotionally attached to “I’m right” or “it’s their fault,” thus, negating any real energy that you want this. Emotions are the lighter fluid that fuels the thoughts to take action.
7. There is a complete lack of clarity as to what “magical” means to either one of you –the desires are not specific or concise… (“I will work on my marriage.” “I want to fight less.” etc.). Adding SMART (specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and time based) components to your goals for the relationship will greatly increase your results for getting to where you want the relationship to be.
8. You MUST know WHY you want this. If the “why” is big enough, the “how’s” become automatic. If not, you will block yourself by not finding the “how.” When the reason for creating a magical relationship is clear and you are emotionally connected to it, it will be easy to figure out how to accomplish it.
9. (This one can be a bit complex,) you really DON’T want what you say you want… “It’s too hard,” or “I must give up too much,” or something causes you not to want it.
10. So based on the first nine, you believe that it is not in the cards for you… if you can just stay together… that’s good. And if it is good… well, that’s really GREAT.
A magical relationship is possible for any couple, you just need the right resources to create it. Even taking these 10 reasons and doing the exact opposite will create amazing results for you and your partner.